1.10.11

I need to come first.. i need to focus on the things i want to do for me.

I was on the phone for over an hour tonight with a very dear friend of mine.

Thank you so much again.

I have been reassured that I am allowed time to focus on me. That it IS okay that sometimes I have to do what I have to do to keep myself going forward. That mostly I cannot keep pushing things aside to be at the will of others, and this has lifted a weight off my shoulders.

I CAN put myself first. I cannot keep letting important moments in my life be left on hold because those moments can only be held for so long. I cannot let things get in my way like this.

Bills have stacked up.. and things will not be getting done.. school will never be applied for without focusing on other things.

Previous times when I have needed to focus on myself... I have yet been brought down. I have been told what a bitch I was. How conceded I was..

This time if anyone has a problem with it, then you can remove me from your life.. I know what I want and its time that I work on it.

Five of you received a text message from me tonight. If you got that.. that does show that you are important in my life.. For those who didn't there are some I left out.

I understand that I've never been one of those people who have realised I have hurt them until I've done it.. but I have been hurt due to the same. I apologize to any of you who ame reading this if I have done that.

Everyone else has been allowed to do this.. so why is it So wrong when I have done it and plan to do it now??

Thank you to all who understand nd support me. I love you all.

01.05.2011

The world you used to leadHas crumbled before your feetYou're left lifeless and aloneAll scars openAnd out bleeds your soulMemories flash before your eyesOf your uncontrollable lifeScreaming in the pouring acidic rainNo one hears your complaintsAll you have left of your life is pain..
Unable to change things...for its too late