So I Thought...

All these pent up emotions.
I thought you were the one that I had always looked for...
Your striking love running through my dry veins refilling it with life and consciousness...

And then you take it away from me, like I mean nothing to you.
I'm just another dead leaf you didn't bother to move out of the way for... to look the other way for..

At one point in time, maybe I understood both sides of how she felt, how she fought, how she loved.... and how she lost that battle of curiosity, and insanity...
I spent time crying, shoulder to shoulder.. getting advice and taking it all in.. taking in the kind of person that you were truely showing to me.. I was in love with you, so I thought... so I wanted to be.... Your hand in mine felt like the ice was breaking around the frozen world around us...

Nor, did I know... the ice was thickning... not breaking...
For so long, I wanted you to notice that spark in my eyes, that excitement in my voice... how my heart jumped and leaped for your love....
And you never saw, never noticed, never cared.

Your lack of judgment and emotions is giving me whip lash. Decide what the hell you want and find it.
Though, I could only wish that I was that one you were waiting for... in the middle of that rainstorm of unhappy confusion. In that rainstorm of wanting someone and being wanted in return...

How I wanted you.... I have failed to make you see that. And for that I will not apologize, for I know somewhere you saw how I felt, somehow you felt me love you.... and if that was not enough, I shall not waste anymore lifeless words on the situation...